Fundable research project

Somebody needs to write an NIH grant to study Paula Deen. How on Earth is that woman still kickin' while eating crap like this?* The picture alone is worth clicking the link but it comes down to this: 1/2 burger + bacon + egg fried in butter sandwiched between 2 Krispy Kreme donuts.  Gee, Paula, you forget the cheese! 

*Ok, she probably doesn't actually eat any of the food she writes recipes for.