2.24.2009

My undergrad- Updated!

I was assigned an undergrad to work with on my new project. Let's call her Kori*. At first, it was great to have someone to work for me but I was concerned about finding meaningful tasks for her to do. It sucks to process data files but on the other hand- I don't have to do it! Yea!!
Rt-H agreed processing was good for her to start with and she's been doing this for the past 3 or 4 weeks. Things were going smoothly, but she is crazy slow at doing anything. It sort of works out because it keeps me from having to find more work for her to do. Perhaps her slowness is balanced by her attention to detail you say? Nope. She skips files and overlooks important coding. I also have to work on the computer next to her (the only computer with my analysis programs) to ensure she doesn't watch too many music videos. Up to this point, all these things were merely annoying. Kori is nice, helpful and I appreciate her work. Her presence allows me to be doing other things and this is priceless.  

Well, today Kori took it to a new level. I asked her (via email because I was driving back from a weekend with the Grackle when she was to be in the lab) to cut and paste data from a bunch of files into one spreadsheet. In my email, I set up what the spreadsheet should look like. When looking over her sholder today, I see that she just made a list, in a spreadsheet, of the file names. No data anywhere. Nothing like what I asked for. Ugh. Luckily, it wasn't anything too important. 

How long does it usually take to know what a particular undergrad can be trusted with? Perhaps almost a year without dealing with students has skewed my ideas of what to expect and how much hand holding I need to do. If nothing else, I need to communicate a bit more about specifically what I need from Kori. Hopefully we will go back to moving forward, despite doing so at a snail's pace.



*After the Kori Bustard. Bustard come from the latin for 'slow bird'

UPDATE: Some of Kori's slowness and flakiness could be because she is a graduating senior this semester! If nothing else, I only have to work with her for a few more months. Rt-H was telling me about the young woman she is hoping to lure to the lab next year. She sounds really amazing student! 

2.19.2009

Not that I'm counting...

I have officially been employed as a postdoc for 39 days. Tomorrow, on day 40, I will finally receive my first paycheck. 
Hallelujah! 
My last grad student paycheck came right as I started the new position so it easily could have been a longer period of time between paychecks. My grad department was one that always supported me during the summer and so I haven't had this sort of drought for a long time. It might have been easier had I known it was coming (I wouldn't have spent a ton of money at Ikea the weekend before I started if I knew it was going to be so long), but I doubt it is ever easy. 

In celebration, I am going to pay my utilities! And part of the credit card I've been living off of! 

2.16.2009

roller coaster week

This postdoc thing has got me up, down, upside-down and sideways. 

Up: Since last week, things have gotten better. I figured something out on my own, which really helped increase my confidence. I was able to finish up analyzing my first data set and now...

Down:  ...the second has not been as kind. I am slooooowly working through it but seriously, does anyone have any tips on how to remind yourself to eat when you are in the lab 12+ hours? It is really inconvenient when you are in the middle of something and have to leave to actually do it!

Upside-down: My progress is at a dangerous stage right now. I know just enough to know when something is new and different, but I don't know how to deal with it yet. Some of what I'm finding is completely unexpected (and therefore totally awesome). It is enthralling and frustrating all at once.  Tomorrow I actually get to learn how to take my own data (yay!) but for now...
 
Sideways: ...I'm going to go crawl into bed with some pdfs.

2.12.2009

My real Darwin Day celebration

My previous Darwin post felt a bit forced. I do think there are small and easy ways for all scientists to reach out  for the understand of evolution but the problem isn't nearly as bad as it was 6 hours ago. CNN updated it's story with a NEW poll stating that... 
"39 percent of Americans say they "believe in the theory of evolution," 
while a quarter say they do not believe in the theory, 
and another 36 percent don't have an opinion either way." 
Alright, sure. Way to go polled people!  I'm way more down with apathy than anti-evolution sentiment! So here is how I really celebrated today*:

If you can't wear fancy boots for a 200th birthday, when can you? 




*The camera angle makes me look like I have really short legs. I don't. 

Happy Darwin Day!

In case you missed it (really, where’ve you been?), today is the 200th anniversary of Charles Darwin’s birth. This year is also the 150th anniversary of the publication of his most famous book, On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection, or the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life.

The scientific status of evolution by natural selection is solid and the evidence is overwhelming. A quick Web of Science search on ‘natural selection’ comes back with over 8,000 results. However, the public status of evolution by natural selection remains weak. CNN sums it up…

“The most recent Gallup poll on the issue, conducted in May, found that only 14 percent of Americans believe that humans developed over millions of years from less advanced forms of life. Forty-four percent believe that God created human beings almost overnight within the past 10,000 years, and another 36 percent believe that God guided humans' evolution from animals over a much longer period of time.”

That 44% is most disturbing to me, although dinos at the nativity would make an awesome Xmas blockbuster.

I think this number is mostly based on misunderstanding of science compounded by a misunderstanding of the evidence for evolution by natural selection. So, how do you decrease that number? Who should be doing it? Should we bother? Personally, I’ve encountered people who are stubborn in their beliefs and shut down any conversation before it starts. This sort of thing frustrates me and results in me not wanting to deal with the issue. I can do my science, go along my way and leave well enough alone. What good does that do? 

I don’t really have any good answers today except for thinking that my involvement with public education about evolution could extend past arguing with drunks in bars.... I mean, I should do more to communicate science in general in addition to my usual focus on my own research. If as Dobzhansky said"nothing in biology makes sense except in the light of evolution," then any of us even remotely tied to biology should have a good understanding of the subject of evolution. Luckily, we’ll be celebrating Darwin and his big book all year so I have time to post more in depth about various aspects of this issue.

Most of my readers (the few I have, thanks for stopping by, by the way!) are scientists (and my mom) so I don’t want to beat a dead…finch, I guess. If you feel particularly yea or nay about my posting more detailed posts on this- please let me know in the comments!  

Either way, happy birthday, Charles!

2.10.2009

Current difficulties

My postdoc research is pretty far removed from anything I’ve done before. It is really exciting, but also really difficult. I have no background in the actual work and am trying to read as much as possible and talk to as many people to get my head around it all. It doesn’t help that I am working somewhat backwards. I was given last years’ data and a plan for me to write it up before my field season starts. It is hard to understand data that I didn’t collect. Last week  I had to ask someone exactly what the numbers in the dataset actually were*. The data itself isn’t the best either. Bah.

Given that I don’t know squat, I’ve been feeling like very much the impostor lately. In the past, I’ve dealt with general feelings of not (ever) being good enough. I never really thought I ‘fooled’ anybody to progress in my career or worried about being ‘exposed’ but certainly dismiss my accomplishments. 

What is different is that I can’t help but feel like an impostor because of other peoples’ assumptions about me. Since day one, others in the department have taken for granted that I am an expert in this area and technique. This assumption combined with my extreme lack of knowledge is not a good mix. Any question I ask is met with, ‘Well you know some random tiny detail about math…blah blah blah.’ The slightly furrowed brows or pauses when I answer ‘uhhh, what’s that again?’ are starting to get to me. It is like I finally DID get exposed as an imposter when I never, ever claimed to be an expert in this area in the first place!

What bugs me most is that playing so much catch up in my new area has sucked me into this hole of self doubt in my older work. My dissertation chapters have sat for a month. I’ve read them over, had others read them over and gotten the go ahead from my PhD advisor but I’m just not sure they are submission quality anymore. No real reason why.

I’m not sure how to shake myself out of it but I'm going to just try to continue making progress with continued reading, working towards small goals in the research each day, continuing to ask the questions I need to – no matter how basic, and finally get that research seminar in the department done soon so these peeps know what my background really is! 

 



*In my defense, we present data at a percentage. There are values that are over 100 and less than 0. Hence, my confusion.

2.09.2009

Inspiration

A big thanks to ScienceGirl, who was kind enough to pass along an Inspiration Award.

The rules are as follows:
  • Put the logo of the award (above) on your blog if you can make it work with your format.
  • Link to the person from whom you received the award.

  • Nominate seven or more blogs. (Or less, if you please). 

  • Put the links of those blogs on your blog.

  • Leave a message on their blogs to tell them.




I nominate: 

All very inspiring ladies doing things like gettin papers submitted, rocking the GRE, finishing a thesis (with a baby on the way) and managing to balance lab life with other passions that many of us just give up instead! 

2.07.2009

And I Remember Every Kiss

I love the music memes. I wasn't called out, but share a lot of music with Cath. Her style of tagging works for me so consider yourself tagged if you have any of these songs in your music library!

RULES:
a) Put your MP3 player, iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle
b) For each question (capitalised), press the next button to get your answer.
c) YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS
d) Tag at least 5 people
e) Everyone tagged has to do the same thing (no they don't, actually)
f) Have Fun! (Step f is not required)

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
The Sound of Fear (Eels)
Ummmm...no one would ever say that exact phrase ever.

2. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Simple Things (Belle & Sebastian)
I like that one

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Souvenirs (Architecture in Helsinki)
Presents are nice but wouldn't determine my liking someone

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Don't Let me Down (Beatles)
I have a lot to do today but it's 1:45 pm and I am still in my pj's

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Everybody's Talking at Me (Harry Nilsson, although it really comes up at Track 11 on a mix)
Are those everybody's students?

6. WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
Punch and Judy (Elliott Smith)
Not into punching and don't know anyone named Judy but that isn't really what the song is about

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
In My Place (Coldplay)
I move around a lot so am usually in a different place

8. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
I Was Meant for the Stage (The Decemberists)
Possibly when I was younger. I still like an audience...

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Slow Down (Bowerbirds)
I do have a lead foot

10. WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Time After Time (cover from Napoleon Dynamite soundtrack by Sparkle Horse)
So, 4 o clock?

11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Let's Pretend We're Bunny Rabbits (Magnetic Fields)
We're clear that the Grackle is my best friend right? 

12. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Prisstina (Sleater Kinney)
'She will go to the head of the class
And all you boys need to get a late pass
'Cause she'll leave those dull lads behind
Yeah that girl is ahead of her time'

13. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Nachtwort (Albert Magelsdorff)
I don't speak German but I don't think that works really...

14. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Sail to the Moon (Brush the Cobwebs Out of the Sky) Radiohead
Sounds like a lovely idea

15. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Crush in the Ghetto (Jolie Holland)
Nope, didn't happen.

16. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Tears of Joy (Robert Randolf and the Family Band)
Let's hope not! iTunes is cruel.

17. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Now Mary (White Stripes)
?????

18. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Earthquake Weather (Beck)
Sounds like something we should all be afraid of

19. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Six White Horses (Johnny Cash)
Cryptic because it is a secret!

20. WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
My Tiger My Heart (Boy Least Likely To)
I don't have to want them- Grackle and our tiny tigers are currently with me in Postdoc City!

21. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Bees (Animal Collective)
They are all really busy...

22. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
And I Remember Every Kiss (Jens Lekman)

2.04.2009

A first

Today represents another new, sucky thing about long-distance relationships. 
This is the first time in 5 years that I haven't been around on the Grackle's birthday. Even when doing field work 3000 miles away, I managed to get back for a Sunday B-day! We aren't usually into big birthday celebrations....but it is always nice to have a reason for a lovely dinner or date night.  
Tonight he'll be off to dinner and watching Lost with friends and I'm sure it will be quite the celebration*. As for me, internet has been successfully installed in my abode so I have blogs to catch up on** and about 5 hours of Lost to watch for myself.
Since my mind is elsewhere anyways, it may as well get caught up in some decent tv... 
 







*Two of my ex-labmates also celebrate their birthdays tomorrow. 
** Yay!!!!